BULLET TRAIN (2022) – Blood-soaked action comedy that is not very funny or very exciting

Bullet Train is based on a Japanese novel by Kotaro Isaka and is about an assassin assigned to a seemingly simple task of retrieving a briefcase off on a bullet train. He is however faced with all sorts of obstacles in the form of other assassins who are either also eyeing the same briefcase or seeking some sort of revenge. Despite its Japanese origins and the story’s locale in Japan, the cast is surprisingly devoid of Japanese! In fact, it could have easily been made into a movie set in Los Angeles (which is where the movie was mainly filmed) instead of Japan. Some critics have been quick to point fingers at the film makers of “whitewashing” the story, something, I would not totally disagree. But, on the flip side, if it wasn’t for the whitewashing, how would we have the benefit of having Brad Pitt in the lead? Brad Pitt is one of the rare Hollywood stars today that still has star presence so any movie that has Brad in it can be considered a blessing.

Bullet Train is a fast paced, action orientated comedy. Here is where my judgement gets conflicted a bit. As a comedy the film is not very funny. As an action movie, the film has plenty of fight scenes and chases. But, for me it failed to connect with the audience despite the many elaborately choreographed action, simply because it doesn’t take itself seriously. Director David Leitch is no stranger to action genre as he used to be a stuntman and stunt coordinator before expanding his talents to directing action movies. The fights and chases are very well done and detailed, often shown in slow motion. However, I found none of them truly stood out as something outstanding or something that you will remember. The way they are presented, they happen in a flash and any “highlights” would just happen in a blink of an eye. Such a technique does not make the scenes stand out and merely forgettable. Infusing comedy into the flow merely diminishes any importance or narrative value of these scenes as they begin to feel more like fillers than plot points.

It also doesn’t help when new characters are constantly being introduced, only end up demised. Some characters on the other hand doesn’t seem to die, even though we thought they were killed in earlier scenes. This adds on further to the cartoon like universe in which the story takes place. We are left never really concerned about the characters’ fate since nobody is taking things seriously.

On the plus side, the movie at least looks good. It is very colourful and beautiful. Even though I doubt most if any scenes were not filmed in Japan, the atmosphere was well presented. The light hearted feel of the movie does make it a fun watch so yes, you should be entertained. And some of the effects were quite eye popping. It’s just that they happened too fast and doesn’t allow us much time to digest them properly.

Bullet Train cannot be considered as family entertainment despite its cartoonish style, as it is too violent. Many of the killings and death depicted were violent in an exaggerated manner. It can be a fun ride as long as you don’t place your expectations too high and get worked up over humor mixed with a high dose of blood.